We loaded up our clothing, lickety-split (?) and headed out for the 1,000 Islands to camp with Bobby's family. Bobby was sent off with exceptional reviews from Rochester, and promises of plenty of connections for when he needs to job search. Dreams of waterskiing, tubing, wakeboarding, and floating up to restaurants in cute little towns were dashed when Phil's boat broke down and the guys' troubleshooting efforts were of no avail. We supplemented with playing Big-ball volleyball at least twice a day and toasting exotic s'mores using coconut, strawberry, and chocolate-swirl marshmallows over a campfire at night.
Bobby and I were tested when I happened across a 2-carat diamond ring with platinum band on the ground. Probably a once-in-a-lifetime find. I did turn it in to the authorities, and that same day Bobby found out that his application for NY state residency was accepted, which will save us about the equivalent to what that ring was worth!
Saturday morning we were scheduled to leave the Islands, but my car just wouldn't start, even after some heavy jumping. So, Maureen and I drove into to town to get a battery, came back, only to find that Bobby got it to work by flooring the gas (engine must have flooded somehow). So, we were on our way- a little late. The 11-hour drive through the Adirondack Mtns. was worth every extra hour that we added onto it by getting lost and having to use an old-fashioned paper map to renavigate (Bobby broke our GPS by slamming the end in the glove compartment door, and I refused to borrow his Mom's b/c I think we need to be more self-reliant). We drove around countless little lake towns, and past country homes that looked home-made. We went through the posh little town of Lake Placid that had huge ski jumps that looked like they'd shoot you to the moon and great big Olympic training facilities. The atmosphere changed into a wintery, pristine, nostalgia as we headed into Vermont, which was packed full of little artisan shops and signs boasting "Vermont Maple Syrup". The town of Woodstock charmed me the most, as each house was beautiful looked like it would be occupied by a stately old gentlemen who loves to read a good book and invite you to have some tea or coffee. The only remnant of the hippie-vibe from the well-known festival was one VW van that Bobby spied on the outskirts of town.
Which brings me up to the present....
Maine.
Bobby already lost me once in our 2 bedroom little apartment that sits above a garage in the little city/town of Saco. It's not big, but it is for us. He said that it seems like it will be more difficult to impress people at the Medical Center here because they don't ask as much work from him or have as exotic of cases as in Rochester. Still, the variety of experience that he had in NY already helped establish him a little. So far, we haven't seen too much of Maine yet...just the little roads from here to Portland and to Walmart (where we tried, unsuccessfully, to return the extra car battery). I did, already, buy clams and steam them up myself. Who can resist clams at $3.50/lb and lobster, $5.00/each, at the local farmers market??? Lobster will be my next murder victim. I have to admit that I'm not much of a killer. The mud clams up here have these long blackish/brown necks that stick out of the shells. I prodded each one to make sure they were still alive by watching them withdraw like a turtle in it's shell. But it was tough to see those necks crane out so far when I submerged them into boiling water as they tried to get some air and hold on to life. Bobby's aunt said that she'll never cook lobster again because the last one she boiled let out a high-pitched sort of scream when she put it in the water! agh.
On a similar note, I do really like dissecting things that are already dead. We have cable here, and I've been watching back-to-back episodes of "Dr. G", a lady who examines dead bodies to discover their cause of death. It really is a reminder that God's order of right/wrong is able to be seen everywhere...even in death. When the bodies are opened, many of people's flaws are discovered, even if the outside looks good. So many of the untimely deaths were a result of people's choices. What would your insides say about you if we could see? Some people died just because they just wanted to ignore and dismiss the problems in their body, others were more blatant: alcoholism causing black esophagus or other problems, cocaine leaving holes in noses, plaque build up...etc.
OH...one last thing....Baby Evan was born to Stephen and Angela Stello! Aunt Kara and Uncle Bobby!! I'm so excited to meet the little guy and want to call Angela and Steve allllll the time. Babies, babies, babies!
:)
Have a great week!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Week Six: Hair
This week we started saying our goodbyes already. Kristin and Jamie left for their cruise, so we said goodbye to them and took over doggie duties here at the house (Howie take 4 pills a day for his epilepsy). The ladies from Ann Taylor went out to Champs to say goodbye to me. I'll miss them all. Even though it hasn't been that long, I could see having a home here in Rochester. I could climb the "ladder" at Ann Taylor a bit, and Bobby is well-liked and respected here at Strong: he's even started training the new hire a bit. ;) We'd have some family around and could get more involved in Browncroft Church...
But, we have a lot more of the country to see.
On another note, for our one year anniversary, I had the idea of changing my hair each year at that time. Perhaps it'll keep the marriage fresh to look like a new woman every so often. Maybe it's a silly idea, but this year I just did subtle highlights and kept my hair long and layered with heavy bangs. I felt free this year, young and old simultaneously, and light-hearted in a lot of ways. Next year, I'm interested in doing a short dark bob with bangs, like from Pulp Fiction. This seems like a powerful, well-groomed haircut, although I don't know if I could do something so drastic. I still always have this nagging guilt when I cut my hair. I think this is because when I was young, my father (who never really weighs in with fashion advice) would always say, "I like your long hair," whenever I would think of cutting it, so I could never do it. We'll have to see how the year goes.
I can see that, as a married person, it'd be easy to lose something of your dreams...to sacrifice your drive towards your goals for following your partner's. Perhaps it's my circumstances of having given up my job to travel around for my husband's schooling that makes me feel this way. Maybe it's influence from the media's message that women should have lucrative careers to be good wives and even mothers. I don't buy into that completely, because I know that if I try to have a full-time career and a full-time job mothering and taking care of house, my attitude would crumble quickly and I'd do more harm than good. However, I do not want to lose sight of the dreams that I've had with me for decades. I WANT to provide for the family and contribute to humanity as much as I can. It means WORK. The ideal wife in Proverbs works hard...she invests; she wakes up early and goes to bed late; she is in charge of important things and values quality; she is there to meet her family's needs...she's very much a business woman, but rooted in the home.
Fulfilling these goals also means that I have to work to pave a way for it myself. There is a fight in marriage...a push to keep the other person from taking too much and a pull to get them to give. Bobby and I are selfish people - we like to pursue our own directions and expect the other person to rub our back while we do it. Thankfully, our goals are compatible, and hopefully we can avoid the pitfalls along the way: the traps of money, pride, infidelity, and all the lies that we're told about being "good".
I will pull for MY dreams to succeed and I will pull for his support of my dreams. I will push for his goals to succeed and defend him from the traps that I see that could destroy his soul. He will do the same for me. We'll pray a lot because nothing is in our control.
But I can so easily control my hair. Maybe next year, I'll move into a more powerful hairdo and let go of the free-spirited wavy locks for a while. We'll see how the year goes.
But, we have a lot more of the country to see.
On another note, for our one year anniversary, I had the idea of changing my hair each year at that time. Perhaps it'll keep the marriage fresh to look like a new woman every so often. Maybe it's a silly idea, but this year I just did subtle highlights and kept my hair long and layered with heavy bangs. I felt free this year, young and old simultaneously, and light-hearted in a lot of ways. Next year, I'm interested in doing a short dark bob with bangs, like from Pulp Fiction. This seems like a powerful, well-groomed haircut, although I don't know if I could do something so drastic. I still always have this nagging guilt when I cut my hair. I think this is because when I was young, my father (who never really weighs in with fashion advice) would always say, "I like your long hair," whenever I would think of cutting it, so I could never do it. We'll have to see how the year goes.
I can see that, as a married person, it'd be easy to lose something of your dreams...to sacrifice your drive towards your goals for following your partner's. Perhaps it's my circumstances of having given up my job to travel around for my husband's schooling that makes me feel this way. Maybe it's influence from the media's message that women should have lucrative careers to be good wives and even mothers. I don't buy into that completely, because I know that if I try to have a full-time career and a full-time job mothering and taking care of house, my attitude would crumble quickly and I'd do more harm than good. However, I do not want to lose sight of the dreams that I've had with me for decades. I WANT to provide for the family and contribute to humanity as much as I can. It means WORK. The ideal wife in Proverbs works hard...she invests; she wakes up early and goes to bed late; she is in charge of important things and values quality; she is there to meet her family's needs...she's very much a business woman, but rooted in the home.
Fulfilling these goals also means that I have to work to pave a way for it myself. There is a fight in marriage...a push to keep the other person from taking too much and a pull to get them to give. Bobby and I are selfish people - we like to pursue our own directions and expect the other person to rub our back while we do it. Thankfully, our goals are compatible, and hopefully we can avoid the pitfalls along the way: the traps of money, pride, infidelity, and all the lies that we're told about being "good".
I will pull for MY dreams to succeed and I will pull for his support of my dreams. I will push for his goals to succeed and defend him from the traps that I see that could destroy his soul. He will do the same for me. We'll pray a lot because nothing is in our control.
But I can so easily control my hair. Maybe next year, I'll move into a more powerful hairdo and let go of the free-spirited wavy locks for a while. We'll see how the year goes.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Week Five: Failure
Ever have one of "those" weeks? Where you feel like you just suck and you remind yourself of your younger emotional teenage years. It feels like the week is designed perfectly just to have you fail. This week was one of those for me and, well, I do believe that this week was designed to let me fail, because in the end, I'm at a better place: more humble and more passionate and more desperate for God.
I'm not sure how it began, but I felt this underlying fatigue and strain. Maybe it's the moving around and not having a place to call home. On another note, my mother-in-law and sister-in-laws were in town, so we were busy trying to spend as much time as possible with them. The day of their arrival, we all hiked to Stoneybrook park and then got Garbage Plates (a mess of unhealthy food thrown together and covered in a meat sauce) at around 10pm. The next day, I had just gotten off of work and drove over to Grandpa's to see if they wanted to come over for dinner. I decided to throw together a quick chicken cobb salad. or NOT quick...The oven fuse blew, the girls couldn't figure out the TV remote, and Bobby (the main attraction) along with Jamie and Kristin, were all not home. So, Grandpa and Ruth were unentertained while I tried to get our salad (with no side dishes) together. Noooo BIG deal...it all worked out. Still, I felt that my hostessing "skills"(?) may have taken a little hit, and decided that hostessing is only fun for me when I have ample prep time. Two days later, the girls and Maureen came over. Bobby wanted to play the card game "Pitch" right away...a card game that the Browns begin playing at about 8 months old and are fiercely competitive with. I like Pitch but I often get it confused with Euchre and have only played a handful of times, so I still make stupid tactical blunders. Bobby decided to be my partner and quickly realized that I was sabotaging the team beyond all repair (I was really unfocused). His mom began chastising him for getting angry at me, and then I called a spade a club and he made a comment about how the geniuses that he worked with wouldn't understand such an error or something, and I morphed into a 2 year old who's told she can't have dessert before dinner, and stomped off nearly in tears saying, "I'm not playing with you anymore; you're being a jerk." This was in front of everyone.
I recovered myself right away and came down to apologize, but had to leave again to get a good cry out of my system and make things up with my husband. This is not usual behavior for me, and hasn't been for at least 13 years. So, what was up with that????
There was more. Bobby was having a rough week too because, although we were enjoying his family's visit, he wasn't sleeping as much as usual. I had a crappy day at work after getting two cavities filled and having a customer nearly lose it when she was going to lose $300 on returns. To top it off with a cherry, Bobby and I had a major back-and-forth when Kristin invited me to go dancing on Saturday night. Long story short, I made a bad decision and went...only for about 10 minutes, but it was enough to have heaped a pile of stinky guilt on my shoulders for going against my husband and remind myself that the club scene is sooooooooooo not the type of place I want to be at. I wanted to cry all of Sunday morning at church. But, Sunday was a breath of fresh air...church was about Paul speaking to the Corinthians, who thought they were elite Christians, entitled to privileged "deep" wisdom. He reminded them that the "secret wisdom" is the crucified Messiah and it's all about Him. Also, Bobby and I both had chances to really open up and share our beliefs and reasons for our actions with Jamie and Kristin, who continue to be wonderfully comfortable hosts. Even though I enjoyed hanging out with Kristin and her friend, she knows that I think I made the wrong decision in going.
Sigghhhhh....so where does this leave me? I don't know. In God's hands, as we all are, whether we realize it or not. If there is a God, then what He says is important. The Bible is His word. I'm so thankful for it, because I think that it will keep me from a lot of pain and guilt that I would otherwise create for myself if I was just trying to figure it all out on my own.
Lots of love...
Kara
ps...and I'm so thankful for my family and that we got to see them- it was a bright spot even if the week had some downsides (mostly of my own making).
I'm not sure how it began, but I felt this underlying fatigue and strain. Maybe it's the moving around and not having a place to call home. On another note, my mother-in-law and sister-in-laws were in town, so we were busy trying to spend as much time as possible with them. The day of their arrival, we all hiked to Stoneybrook park and then got Garbage Plates (a mess of unhealthy food thrown together and covered in a meat sauce) at around 10pm. The next day, I had just gotten off of work and drove over to Grandpa's to see if they wanted to come over for dinner. I decided to throw together a quick chicken cobb salad. or NOT quick...The oven fuse blew, the girls couldn't figure out the TV remote, and Bobby (the main attraction) along with Jamie and Kristin, were all not home. So, Grandpa and Ruth were unentertained while I tried to get our salad (with no side dishes) together. Noooo BIG deal...it all worked out. Still, I felt that my hostessing "skills"(?) may have taken a little hit, and decided that hostessing is only fun for me when I have ample prep time. Two days later, the girls and Maureen came over. Bobby wanted to play the card game "Pitch" right away...a card game that the Browns begin playing at about 8 months old and are fiercely competitive with. I like Pitch but I often get it confused with Euchre and have only played a handful of times, so I still make stupid tactical blunders. Bobby decided to be my partner and quickly realized that I was sabotaging the team beyond all repair (I was really unfocused). His mom began chastising him for getting angry at me, and then I called a spade a club and he made a comment about how the geniuses that he worked with wouldn't understand such an error or something, and I morphed into a 2 year old who's told she can't have dessert before dinner, and stomped off nearly in tears saying, "I'm not playing with you anymore; you're being a jerk." This was in front of everyone.
I recovered myself right away and came down to apologize, but had to leave again to get a good cry out of my system and make things up with my husband. This is not usual behavior for me, and hasn't been for at least 13 years. So, what was up with that????
There was more. Bobby was having a rough week too because, although we were enjoying his family's visit, he wasn't sleeping as much as usual. I had a crappy day at work after getting two cavities filled and having a customer nearly lose it when she was going to lose $300 on returns. To top it off with a cherry, Bobby and I had a major back-and-forth when Kristin invited me to go dancing on Saturday night. Long story short, I made a bad decision and went...only for about 10 minutes, but it was enough to have heaped a pile of stinky guilt on my shoulders for going against my husband and remind myself that the club scene is sooooooooooo not the type of place I want to be at. I wanted to cry all of Sunday morning at church. But, Sunday was a breath of fresh air...church was about Paul speaking to the Corinthians, who thought they were elite Christians, entitled to privileged "deep" wisdom. He reminded them that the "secret wisdom" is the crucified Messiah and it's all about Him. Also, Bobby and I both had chances to really open up and share our beliefs and reasons for our actions with Jamie and Kristin, who continue to be wonderfully comfortable hosts. Even though I enjoyed hanging out with Kristin and her friend, she knows that I think I made the wrong decision in going.
Sigghhhhh....so where does this leave me? I don't know. In God's hands, as we all are, whether we realize it or not. If there is a God, then what He says is important. The Bible is His word. I'm so thankful for it, because I think that it will keep me from a lot of pain and guilt that I would otherwise create for myself if I was just trying to figure it all out on my own.
Lots of love...
Kara
ps...and I'm so thankful for my family and that we got to see them- it was a bright spot even if the week had some downsides (mostly of my own making).
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