Week Six: Hair

This week we started saying our goodbyes already. Kristin and Jamie left for their cruise, so we said goodbye to them and took over doggie duties here at the house (Howie take 4 pills a day for his epilepsy). The ladies from Ann Taylor went out to Champs to say goodbye to me. I'll miss them all. Even though it hasn't been that long, I could see having a home here in Rochester. I could climb the "ladder" at Ann Taylor a bit, and Bobby is well-liked and respected here at Strong: he's even started training the new hire a bit. ;) We'd have some family around and could get more involved in Browncroft Church...
But, we have a lot more of the country to see.
On another note, for our one year anniversary, I had the idea of changing my hair each year at that time. Perhaps it'll keep the marriage fresh to look like a new woman every so often. Maybe it's a silly idea, but this year I just did subtle highlights and kept my hair long and layered with heavy bangs. I felt free this year, young and old simultaneously, and light-hearted in a lot of ways. Next year, I'm interested in doing a short dark bob with bangs, like from Pulp Fiction. This seems like a powerful, well-groomed haircut, although I don't know if I could do something so drastic. I still always have this nagging guilt when I cut my hair. I think this is because when I was young, my father (who never really weighs in with fashion advice) would always say, "I like your long hair," whenever I would think of cutting it, so I could never do it. We'll have to see how the year goes.
I can see that, as a married person, it'd be easy to lose something of your dreams...to sacrifice your drive towards your goals for following your partner's. Perhaps it's my circumstances of having given up my job to travel around for my husband's schooling that makes me feel this way. Maybe it's influence from the media's message that women should have lucrative careers to be good wives and even mothers. I don't buy into that completely, because I know that if I try to have a full-time career and a full-time job mothering and taking care of house, my attitude would crumble quickly and I'd do more harm than good. However, I do not want to lose sight of the dreams that I've had with me for decades. I WANT to provide for the family and contribute to humanity as much as I can. It means WORK. The ideal wife in Proverbs works hard...she invests; she wakes up early and goes to bed late; she is in charge of important things and values quality; she is there to meet her family's needs...she's very much a business woman, but rooted in the home.
Fulfilling these goals also means that I have to work to pave a way for it myself. There is a fight in marriage...a push to keep the other person from taking too much and a pull to get them to give. Bobby and I are selfish people - we like to pursue our own directions and expect the other person to rub our back while we do it. Thankfully, our goals are compatible, and hopefully we can avoid the pitfalls along the way: the traps of money, pride, infidelity, and all the lies that we're told about being "good".
I will pull for MY dreams to succeed and I will pull for his support of my dreams. I will push for his goals to succeed and defend him from the traps that I see that could destroy his soul. He will do the same for me. We'll pray a lot because nothing is in our control.
But I can so easily control my hair. Maybe next year, I'll move into a more powerful hairdo and let go of the free-spirited wavy locks for a while. We'll see how the year goes.